“The Balance”


There I was at the crossroads again what should I do today. On one hand I could relax at home at watch Disney channel reruns with the family, on the other I could be out laying my bike into a big bowl turn, flying like I’m trying to catch and pass Eli Tomac for the supercross win. The thought of an adrenaline packed few hours lingering in my mind. The decision weighed on me like a ship anchor, but this decision was nowhere near as black and white as I imagined.

Now, we have all been in this position, trying to choose between spending time with the people we love and fulfilling the adrenaline rush of being on the bike.

I myself recently struggled with this. Now to preface this I was in a failing marriage, with a step child who could care less where I was or what I did, and that just made my decision easier. Without realizing it, I had my priorities out of whack. I recently started dating an amazing woman who was not into moto at all but her curiosity led her to become a fan and super supportive of my riding passion.

After being divorced two times I was in a mindset of doing what makes me happy before thinking of others needs. After a few weeks of working on my bike almost every night and seeing her “when I had time” I got called out on my commitment. I had a very obvious pretty easy choice of what needed to change to keep my relationship growing stronger.

I’m not here to tell you what to do with your time or you need to choose either, I just want to share my feelings on what I have come to realize.

When I met my girlfriend, I remind you, who has no idea about the hobby I’m so passionate about. We have this quiet understanding that if our relationship is full of good open communication, love, compassion, and most of all trust and a belief of bettering ourselves, we are able to spend quality time with each other that me going riding once a week, or more, for a few hours each time is not a strain on our relationship.

Every long night with the bike torn apart on the back patio getting ready for a race or a sand dunes trip, while she works on her real estate license or completing tasks for work, is full of really meaningful, vulnerable connection. In turn my life as well as hers feels more complete and fulfilled as we can address any concerns before it ever became an issue.

Now I know that I have and give a solid support structure that both of us can achieve our dreams and goals, together. There is really no better feeling than knowing when I want to go ride and further myself as a rider and a human I can do so without feeling like I am pushing anyone aside or giving up meaningful time with my favorite people.

I encourage those reading this to really take a deep look inside yourself and ask yourself is your time spent with those around you spent deeply connecting in a vulnerable, true way? This is not something learned overnight, I myself have been working on these skills for a year or so now and still struggle being vulnerable. On the other hand once you see results from full disclosure types of conversation and can allow yourself to connect on the deepest level you will be hooked and become addicted to the benefits it opens in your life.

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